The Struggle Is Real: Teaching Children How to Deal with Struggles

We’ve all heard of the term “adulting.” If you are unfamiliar with it, adulting means learning how to behave maturely and engaging in activities that most adults have to deal with. In one way or another, all children will one day have to learn what adulting means, and this often entails dealing with a lot of struggles that may discourage them.

Because of this, children must learn how to deal with struggles, disappointments, and feelings of hurt at a young age. Though it is not good to let your child feel these intentionally just to “learn” from it, teaching them how to rise above challenges will probably be the best thing you could teach your child. So here are a few tips for teaching your child how to deal with struggles:

1. Emotion coaching

This often is a three-step process that starts by validating your child’s emotions. Asking them to share how something or someone made them feel often allows them and you to assess how they can get over it. Secondly, allow them to process their emotions. Knowing why or what made them feel that way will often allow them to be more in tune with their emotions and keep their emotions in check if they realize that they may be unreasonable.

After processing the emotions, it is better to help them solve the issue instead of solving the problem yourself. Taking complete control of the situation will often not help them resolve their emotions, so guiding them to the right way to solve their problems is better since it also helps them know what to do.

2. Give Autonomy

Allowing your child to decide how to deal with a scenario will often improve their problem-solving skills and help them learn about the consequences of their own actions. The problem is that many parents often want to take control of a situation since they do not want their children to get more hurt or exposed to a toxic scenario.

However, allowing your child to take the reins and realize on their own what is the best thing to do will help them more rather than deciding what you believe is best for them. Guiding them and making suggestions on what they could do and the possible benefits for each probable solution are good. Still, ultimately, they themselves have to make the final call to help them become more decisive.

3. Stories

Most of the time, inspirational stories help children find the strength to overcome adversities. For younger children, stories like The Song Of Solomon The Snail that depict how to deal with struggles will be beneficial when teaching children about struggles and how to overcome them. Sharing your stories or problems you’ve had at work and how you overcame them would also help kids realize that though struggles may be experienced, there is always a way to overcome them.

For older children, books and movies with a good plot line often teach children not to give up when times are hard. When encountering a plot that may not have been ideal or encourages teens to abandon their issues right away, proper guidance and processing after the movie or reading are necessary to know that a specific mindset is wrong.

4. Teach Them to be Open-Minded.

Solutions to problems don’t always sit right in front of you, waiting for you to take the opportunity and solve the issue right away. Because of this, it is essential to teach them to be open-minded and creative when solving problems. The “conventional” way of getting out of problems may not always be the best way or the most suitable option for your child. 

Teaching children to think out of the box will also help them deal with struggles and other aspects of their lives. Part of this is guiding children to think of something in the larger perspective and not only a short-term effect. Teaching children to consider long-term results and benefits often helps them grasp a better and more realistic world perspective.

5. Problem-solving Groups

Giving your child problems isn’t the best way to learn how to rise above challenges. However, exposing them to the harsh and sad realities of the world often helps children realize why problem-solving skills and resilience are essential. 

There are many ways to get them into a “problem solving” group. The conventional ones are volunteer organizations (like in orphanages or less fortunate communities), debate teams, Math and Science Olympiads, and so much more. Still, it would also help to explore other options that may be available in your area.